"Oh then, is this not real?"

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about our Free Agency. Free Agency is the the gift our Heavenly Father gave to us to choose for ourselves. We can choose to wake up and take a shower, or sleep in! Which ever your little heart desires. Although we do not always choose what things may happen to us, for instance disease, winning the lottery, death, exe, he can choose how we are going to react to what we have been given. We can choose to look at the bright side of things, or choose the opposite and complain about the cards that life has dealt us.

This gift is something that a lot of times we don't fully understand. Let me put it in this perspective. God is all powerful and knowledgeble. He can do anything he wants. But he has chosen to limit his own limitless power to give us the decision to choose for ourselves. Our Father in Heaven will never force us to follow him, or even believe in him. We are left to choose for ourselves.

I once heard someone say that they just couldn't believe. That it just wasn't part of them to just believe something like an existence of a God. Well belief doesn't just start with believing. It starts with the choice to believe. We must CHOOSE faith. And when we decide to choose faith, we must be willing to act on that choice.

In the Bible, Jesus Christ is approached by a man who has a child possessed with a devil. When the father asked for Jesus to heal his son Jesus said, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief."

This man who approached did not fully believe that Jesus could heal his son. But he had CHOSEN to have hope that he could. The phrase,"help thou mine unbelief" is a truly powerful statment.  Even if we can just desire to believe we can cry out in prayer; Lord, help thou mine unbelief!

One of the men in my life who has truly taught me this principle is a man named Chad. I have only talked with Chad a few times in my life. The first time, I remember walking away from talking with him being very frustrated. Chad just could not get over the doubt in his mind that God was there. He would pray, but did so half-heartedly, as if to hint to God and all those around him that he just wasn't sure if he could ever believe in the being he was actually praying to. The second time I went by Chad was changed. There was light in his eyes that wasn't there before. When he prayed, he prayed with a great hope that the prayer that he was offering was actually being received. He went from faithless, to faithful. What was the difference???? One Choice.

I know and testify that Our Heavenly Father loves each one of us. He longs for us to reach out to him. But sometimes our own knowledge or thoughts keep us from him. God explains that " My thoughts are not your thoughts". We cannot, nor will we ever be able to understand everything God does. But one of the choices that we must make is the choice on when the signs God has given us of his love is enough.

I readily admit that I do not understand everything the lord has done and will do in my life. I do not fully understand his thoughts and reasons for doing things, and I am okay with that. As I have come to grow my own testimony of my Father's love for me, it is not because I can remember back to when he created the worlds. It is not because I have seen an angel, or because there are physical evidence of this or that. It is not because I have seen him in person. It is because of certain spiritual experiences that I have had in my life. It is because of a feeling of peace and joy that came over me as I prayed to know what my Father in Heaven's will for me was. That's good enough for me....